Host family letter

Ich weiss es gibt schon so viele wäre aber so nett wenn ihr drüber schauen würdet :* danke schonmal im vorraus

My name is Leonie XXXX and I was born at the X XXXX 2001 in XXXXXX, so I´m 14 right now. I live with my mother, XXXXX my father XXXXXX and my younger brother, XXXXX in a house in XXXXXX. The next large city is Stuttgart and I have to drive half an hour by train to go there. Of course me and my family fight sometimes but at the end of the day we love us.
My mother is a clerk and is 50 years old. My father is an electric engineer and is 57 years old. My brother is two years younger than me and goes still to school. Actually I have a very good relationship to my family; I can talk with them about everything. Like I said we fight sometimes but on my mind is it very normal.
My school is the XXXXXXX. It´s the biggest school in downtown Stuttgart with about 1100 students . The school begins at 8:00 am, so I have to wake up at 6:00 am and go to school by train. My friends live all around Stuttgart and go to my school. My best friend I know since the kindergarten and we go to different schools, but we are still in touch and meet us every week. I cope with my class mates very good. My favourite subjects are English, Italian and sometimes Math.
In my free time I play handball for 6 years and I dance Hip-Hop for 3 years. For a short time I´m a member of the KjG. The KjG (Katholische Junge Gemeinde) is a church group, we meet us every second Friday to discuss what we can change in our church or city. I´m religious but I don´t go every Sunday to church.
My friends say that I´m a friendly, self-reliantly, openly and curiously person. It´s no problem for me meeting new people . I love it to speak other languages and to discover other cultures. In September 2015 I was for 9 days for an exchange in England. I got along very good with my exchange partner and her family , I met lots of new people and I collected lots of new experience. Another charactistic from me is that I´m very ambitious; you can see that, because I had to fight 3 years to persuade my parents from my idea to go to New Zealand.
I want to do an exchange year because I want to collect lots of new experience. Of course I know that it wouldn´t be only good experience but at the end the bad experience are the good experience because I grow up with them and get adult. I also want to meet lots of new people and I want to have a second home at the other side of the world. Of course I also want to improve my language skills and meet a different culture.
My dream country is New Zealand because of the nature and the people. I saw lots of movies and documentaries about New Zealand I´m impress from the nature because in New Zealand there is everything beaches, mountains, snow… My family has lots of friends who were in New Zealand for holidays and they told me that the Kiwis are very open and friendly
I hope that my host family will do some trips with me to show me their country and that I´m not a guest but rather a part of the family. A very big dream from me is that I want to learn surfing and I would be very glad when I have the opportunity to learn it.

Dear host family!
My name is Leonie XXXX and I was born at the X XXXX 2001 in XXXXXX, so I´m 14 right now. I live with my mother, XXXXX my father XXXXXX and my younger brother, XXXXX in a house in XXXXXX. The closest large city is Stuttgart and I have to drive half an hour by train to go there. I have a good relationship to my family. Of course there might be some little arguments sometimes, but at the end of the day, everything’s good and we love each other.
My mother is a clerk and is 50 years old. My father is an electric engineer and is 57 years old. My brother is two years younger than me and goes to school. I really love my family and I can talk to them about everything. Like I said we fight sometimes but in my opinion that’s normal.
My school is the XXXXXXX. It’s the biggest school in downtown Stuttgart with about 1100 students . The school starts at 8:00 am, so I have to wake up at 6:00 am and go to school by train. My friends live all around Stuttgart and go to my school. I’ve known my best friend since kindergarten and we go to different schools, but we are still in touch and meet each other every week. I get along with my classmates very good. My favourite subjects are English, Italian and sometimes Math.
In my free time I enjoy playing handball and dancing, which I’ve done for 6 and 3 years. For a short time I’m a member of the KjG. The KjG (Katholische Junge Gemeinde) is a church group, we meet every other Friday to discuss what we can change in our church or city. I’m religious but I don’t go to church every Sunday.
My friends say that I’m a friendly, self-reliant, open minded and curious person. Meeting new people is no problem for me. I love to speak other languages and to discover different cultures. In September 2015 I was on an exchange program in England, but only for 9 days. I got along very well with my exchange partner and her family, I met many people and I collected a ton of new experiences. Another characteristic of me is that I’m very ambitious; you can see that, because I had to fight and convince my parents of my idea to go to New Zealand for three years.
I want to do an exchange year because I want to collect lots of new experience. I know that as a foreign exchange student there can’t only be good times but in the end I think that even the bad times can be considered as good experience because they teach me about life and let me grow and finally become ready to face the world on my own as an adult. I also want to meet a lot of new people and I want to have a second home at the other side of the world. Of course I also want to improve my language skills and meet a different culture. I hope that my host family will do some trips with me to show me their country and that I’m not a guest but rather a part of the family. A very big dream of mine is that I want to learn surfing and I would be very glad if I had the opportunity to learn it.
New Zealand is the country of my dreams because of the nature and the people. I saw so many movies and documentaries about New Zealand and I’m really impressed how beautiful it is. It seems NZ has everything: beaches, mountains, even snow.…
Many friends of my family have been to New Zealand for holidays and they told me that the Kiwis are very open and friendly.
Und dann noch so:
I hope that with this letter you got to know me a little better and I am really excited to spend an awesome year with you.
Take care,
Leonie

Ich habe mir deinen Brief durchgelesen und finde ihn eigentlich gut gelungen. Ich würde allerdings zur Einleitung noch einen Satz schreiben, wo du sagst, wie glücklich du bist, solch eine Erfahrung machen zu dürfen. Du sagst es zwar in dem Brief, aber es macht sich am Anfang meiner Meinung nach besser;)

Noch ein Vorschlag, wie dieser Satz „runder“ klingen würde:
Of course I know that it wouldn´t be only good experience but at the end the bad experience are the good experience because I grow up with them and get adult.

Of course there won´t be only good experience but at the end I´ll learn out of bad experience, too. :slight_smile: