Gastfamilienbrief - bitte verbessern!

So jetzt ist es soweit und ich muss einen Gastfamilienbrief scheiben, da mein Englisch leider nicht so gut ist fände ich es cool wenn sich jemand meines Textes annehmen könnte und mir Verbesserungsvorschläge geben könnte.

Dear host family.

First of all, I would like to thank you for reading my letter. As we haven’t met so far I would like to introduce myself to you and give you an impression of myself, my interests, my life in Germany and the reason why I would like to spend a year in Mexico.

If you might already know, my name is XXX and I am a fifteen year old girl from Germany. I am visiting the 10th grade at a grammar school at the moment. When the exchange starts I will be 16 years old. I would describe myself as a lively and open-minded but also a reliable and jolly person. I have two sisters and four brothers. We all live in a big house together with my parents and my grandparents. My mum works as a child care worker and my dad as a technical worker. All my siblings are younger than me so I am decisive. At home I have to help in the household every day, that it isn’t that much for my mother and my father and that they don’t have to do so much by themselves. With that many siblings it is not easy all the time, sometimes it is really stressful. Because of being the oldest one I have to look after them, help them when they need help in school things, when they fight or bring them to bed if my parents want to have time together or go in a restaurant in the evening. In spite of that I love them all.

Next to the work at home I am a sporty person so I love doing sports. With my friends I often do sports in my free time especially volleyball or laser-tag. My favourite kind of sport is soccer. Since I was four years old I have been playing in a regular team. For five years now I have been playing in a female team. We are very victorious. Furthermore I love producing and listening to music. I play the flute in the chapel of my village. The second year now I have been playing the violin, I have lessons and an own foursome-ensemble. I am listening to music like Macklemore, Kid INK or Trailerpark. That are all kinds of rap or hip-hop styles.

At my school I am a member of the SMV (pupils with responsibility) and I work as a tutor.
My favourite subjects at school are chemistry, Spanish and physical education. I like this because I think chemistry is an important and interesting theme, Spanish because of the language, the pronunciation and the way of saying something. I like PE because of the way to push someone to give the best and to come down at school. After completing the 12th grade and passing the Abitur I would like to study biological chemistry at a university and maybe work as an apothecary chemical scientist.

I decided to go to Mexico for one year because I’m interested in the culture of this country and this year I started learning Spanish at school and would like to use this language in real life for communication with others that do not speak my language and of course for learning it rightly.
Last year I was at a student exchange in Hungary in a host family and I enjoyed it. In spite of the different languages, lifestyles and school I stand well with my exchange partner, my host family and the friends of my exchange partner. We have still contact and became very good friends. After that week it was clear in my mind that I want to do such an exchange a second time but now longer and in an other country. So I searched for a program and a country, at last I chose YFU and Mexico.

My friends would say I am a full-time-jolly person. Sometimes they are angry with me because occasionally I am a little to pretentious. But they also say I am helpful and always try to keep them fine by listening attentive to their problems and talk encouraging to them.

Finally I thank you for giving me the chance to become a part in your family, improve my Spanish skills and learn your daily life and your culture. I’m looking forward meeting you as soon as I’m considered.

Best regrets,

Hallo!

Ich habe korrigiert, was mir aufgefallen ist. Schau einfach, ob es dir ein wenig hilft.

Anmerkungen: An deiner Stelle würde ich nicht schreiben, dass deine Freunde dich manchmal für arrogant und überheblich halten. Bei den Begründungen für deine Lieblingsfächer war ich mir nicht sicher, wie es grammatikalisch richtig ist.

Um weitere Antworten zu bekommen, solltest du den Brief im Forum für Austauschschüler posten. Das hier ist kein Forum für Fragen zum Thema Gastfamilie, sondern für Fragen von Familien, die Gastfamilie sind oder werden wollen und für private Gastfamilienangebote. Darum schauen hier kaum Austauschschüler vorbei.

Dear host family.

first of all, I would like to thank you for reading my letter. As we haven’t met so far, I would like to introduce myself to you and give you an impression of myself, my interests, my life in Germany and the reasons why I would like to spend a year in Mexico.

How you might already know, my name is XXX and I am a 15-year-old girl from Germany. I currently attend the 10th grade at a grammar school. I would describe myself as a lively and open-minded but also reliable and jolly person. I have two sisters and four brothers. We live in a big house together with my parents and my grandparents. My mum is a child care worker and my dad as a technican. All of my siblings are younger than me, so I am decisive. At home I help in the household every day, so that they do not have to do so much by themselves.

Living together with so many siblings can be really stressful sometimes. I have to look after them, help them when they need help at school or when they argue and bring them to bed if my parents would like to spend some time by themselves. Still, I love all of them.

Next to the work at home, I love doing sport. I enjoy playing volleyball or laser-tag with my friends. My favourite sport is soccer. Since I was four years old, I have been playing in a team. For five years now, I have been playing in a female team. We are very victorious. Furthermore I love making music as well as listening to music. I pipe in the chapel in my village. For two years now, I have been playing the violin, I take lessons and play in a foursome. I enjoy listening to rappers and hip-hoppers like Macklemore, Kid INK or Trailerpark.

At school I`m involved in the student representation group and I work as a tutor.
My favourite subjects at school are chemistry, P.E. and Spanish. After school I would like to study biological chemistry to work at a pharmacy.

I decided to go to Mexico for one year because I’m interested in the culture and have recently started learning Spanish at school and would like to improve my language skills by talking to native speakers. Last year I spent some time in a host family in Hungary and enjoyed it a lot. In spite of the foreign language, lifestyle and school system, I got along well with my exchange partner, my host family and my exchange partner`s friends. We became good friends and still stay in contact. After this time it was clear in my mind that I want to stay abroad for a whole year in a foreign country. So I searched for a student exchange organisation and a country and finally I chose YFU and Mexico.

My friends would say I am always jolly and always try to help and encourage them.

Finally I thank you for giving me the chance to become a part of your family, improve my Spanish skills and experience your daily life and culture. I’m looking forward to meeting you!

Best regards